HOLIDAYS CAN BE HARD
It’s that time of year again, and I am sure you have noticed how fast the Holiday season is taking over stores. For some, this can trigger the body and create stress or dread because the reality is that not everyone feels festive or excited during the Holiday season. For many, this can be a time of grief, frustration, or mixed emotions. Many folks feel triggered around this time of the year. They may not notice how the holiday impacts their mood or day-to-day routine, or why they feel anxious, irritable, sad, or stressed.
One may feel triggered as they hear people making holiday plans or seeing more holiday events popping up. Others may begin remembering old memories, some good and some sad, and even traumas that happened in their childhood or adolescence during the holidays. So many emotions are tied to the Holiday season, depending on your experience with the Holidays.
“We can not change the fact that the Holidays are coming, but we can decide how much control we want the Holidays to have over our emotions and bodies. “
So how do we prepare for the Holiday season? First, start with something that aligns with you and your body. Try to avoid creating unobtainable goals or pressure of what you should be doing during the Holidays. Instead, listen to your body, trust yourself and do what feels right.
Let’s start with awareness; why start here? Having insight and understanding around your needs gives you space to communicate your needs, set boundaries, and or be able to ask for support.
Here are some questions to get started;
“When we can pinpoint the things that impact our bodies and emotions, we can advocate for ourselves better.”
Understanding your emotions gives you space to validate and feel your feelings. You do not need to pretend to be excited about the holidays or feel pressured to feel the joy that others feel. The holidays are challenging enough without the guilt, be realistic about what you can handle during the holidays.
The point of these questions is that you get to decide how much you want to engage in the holiday season or how little you wish to participate in the holiday season. The challenge is understanding your needs, what feels safe for you, and being able to set the boundary with the people around you.
Family expectations, customs, and norms can make it hard to set boundaries. But, at the same time, you do not have to spend the holidays with people who impact your mental health negatively.
This season challenge yourself to experience the holidays on your terms if you decide to participate in festivities. Remember, you get to decide who you want to spend time with and how much or little time you want to dedicate to others. Is it okay to opt out of Holiday events or parties if you feel it is too much for you or are not ready to be around crowds? Do not neglect yourself, and make sure you are taking care of your basic needs like eating, sleeping, staying hydrated, and moving your body. Pay attention to your routine and continue doing things that you enjoy and are manageable.
Remember, the Holidays are a season and will pass.
It’s that time of year again, and I am sure you have noticed how fast the Holiday season is taking over stores. For some, this can trigger the body and create stress or dread….
[Content warning: Suicide.]
In recent years, during the month of Pride, I’ve always been extremely excited about the celebration—the glittery and colorful extravagance all throughout the month of June.
However, this year, I’ve taken a pause to really understand my journey, the one I’ve taken individually and the one the queer community is on at the moment. I feel blessed to live in West Hollywood in Los Angeles, one of America’s queer-friendly meccas, though the sparkle in my heart has dimmed as I feel increasingly more concerned for my community across the country where our safety, protections and rights are all at risk. Unfortunately, none of us are safe.
I’ve lived with bipolar disorder for the last 13 years. Though the initial years were brutal, once I understood my triggers and what it takes to stay well, I’ve been privileged to have stayed healthy for much of the last decade. This included — to my relief — my first pregnancy and post-partum period and serving in high-intensity public health roles through the pandemic, as California’s Acting Surgeon General and previously the office’s first Chief Health Officer.
I love music. Recently, I was listening to a random playlist Spotify generated for me when a song titled “Before I Have A Daughter” by Bre Kennedy started playing. Bre Kennedy sings about building a garden that grows on the same ground where tears have fallen and hearts have also been broken. Her goal is to learn to tend to this garden so that it flourishes on both the good and bad days.
