Help
My Kids
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We can help our kids cope with their emotions by leading them through a three step practice: regulate, relate, reason.
1. REGULATE
When our kids are struggling with big emotions, the first thing we can help them do is regulate. Check out the calming tools under Mindfulness (link to “Helping Kids Manage Stress: Mindfulness) to help kids deactivate their fight, flight, or freeze response.
2. RELATE
Next, we can validate how they’re feeling. This helps strengthen the attachment bond.
3. REASON
Once they’re calmer and can think more clearly (because their brain has disengaged the fight, flight, or freeze response), we can help them put words to their emotions, and reflect on insights they may have gained.
It’s helpful to remember that behavior is communication. Rather than needing to “fix” our child’s behavior, we can look for ways to understand their behavior as our child’s attempt at communicating.
How can we accept that our children are doing
the best they can with the tools they have in the moment?
How can we give them tools to help get their
needs met?
Take a pause
Are our own ACEs affecting how we relate to our child?